Publisert første gang på LinkedIn, 22. november 2022
I’ve never really shared much about my personal life. As a more introvert than extrovert person, I have never felt the need.
Lately however, I’ve told about my episodes of burnout, and it seems like it has been helping others. I’ve also appreciated getting to know other people’s stories, to understand how they have become who they are today, to understand where they belong.
It’s a long story, but even if I don’t feel the need personally, I hope and believe telling more about who I really am outside work, might motivate you to tell your story!
To tell the world where YOU belong.
There are three activities from my childhood and youth that have shaped me deeply:
– Playing in wind band
– Playing volleyball
– Computers and LAN parties
I’ve «always» been playing an instrument, starting with borrowing my aunt’s cornet at 3-4 years old, playing the recorder at 6 and starting in the wind band at 9, alternating with baritone/euphonium and trombone until today.
When I started school (a year early, as I already could read, write and count), I started playing soccer as «everyone else».
But I quit when I was 11. I didn’t really think I belonged there.
The wind band felt like home though!
I’ve always connected well with musicians (I still do), I’ve had some amazing friends through wind bands, summer camps, and I also met my wife in the band!
The year of military service in His Majesty’s the King’s Guards band, was most likely the best year of my life! Marching up the main street of Oslo on the Norwegian national day (May 17th) as an absolute unforgettable experience – comparable to my own wedding and the birth of my three children!
Talking of which, I’m so happy my middle son has found the joy of playing as well, and he has been on a summer camp for the first time this year, and joined a larger wind band this fall.
I’ve been going to and from after I got children, but I’ve still got my trombones, and I still enjoy the amazing community of music!
When I started lower secondary school, I started playing volleyball.
My local volleyball club was quite good, and we had a good trainer.
In the beginning we were training boys and girls together, but when we started playing matches, we didn’t really have enough boys to continue having a team.
Most of the boys quit, but I was having so much fun, that I kept on training, even though I could’t play any matches.
The girls were very good though, becoming Norwegian champions for 17 year olds, and many of them were also playing on the school team, becoming Norwegian champions for school teams too.
Looking back, it actually seems a bit strange, but I really felt I belonged on the team, being the only boy with a great team of girls.
The trainer said to me explicitly that he appreciated that I gave the girls some extra matching on the trainings.
I am only 170 cm, so I had serious trouble playing with the men’s team (which was still playing on level 2 or three in Norway), but when playing on woman’s net, I thrived.
When I moved to study, I didn’t start playing again though.
Today that’s among the very few things I deeply regret.
However, eight years ago I started playing again – and it immediately was as fun as it used to be!
For a few seasons, we were able to have a team playing in ordinary series.
In fact, I’ve played more «real» volleyball matches after the age of 30 than in my entire youth.
But for me, it has never really been the competing part of volleyball that mattered.
I just enjoy being a part of a team, a community where the others have the same passion.
Even though my body isn’t as young and explosive as it used to be, and I have been forced to adapt my play to avoid pains, it’s on the volleyball court I really disconnect from the outer world!
I really love playing, and I hope the day that my body says I cannot play anymore never comes.
The third activity that has shaped who I am, is computers and going to LAN parties.
It is a passion I’ve been lucky enough to make a profession, even though I’m «moving away» from the hands on part now.
I grew up having a computer in the house, having a father who also worked as a translator, and I had cousins with the same passion.
Already on primary school, I delivered homework written on the computer and printed on paper.
I lived in a home, that was amongst the first having internet connection.
My interest for computers woke up quite early, mostly games of course, but also the hardware it self, and later on – networks.
At lower secondary school, I attended LAN parties with one of my cousins, and again – I felt like belonging there.
I attended The Gathering three times, and hosted quite a few parties with friends.
As with volleyball, I stopped going to LAN parties while studying.
When I started teaching IT a few years after studies though, I had the pleasure of hosting LAN parties with my students.
It was a joy watching THEIR engagement too, and I was really happy to be a part of it, even if my part was very different than in my youth.
If you actually has read all the way down here, you’ve got a decent understanding of how I spent my time in my youth, outside school.
What actually shaped who I am.
And maybe, you’ve got a better picture of who I am today too…
I still love playing music, volleyball and I still have a strong passion for computers and think LAN parties is an awesome part of today’s youth culture!
Even if I cannot prioritize using the same amount of time as I did, there are many great memories.
These experiences and memories are still impacting what I do and do not do.
Because they have shaped me, provided me with some deep understanding.
It’s just in the last few months I’ve realized how important these activities really were in my life, and why.
Because they gave me the feeling of belonging.
I truly appreciate my three children, where the two oldest are on the doorstep of youth, leaving childhood, finding their own passions of life.
To find where they belong.